Mendicant Cuisine

“There isn’t usually much funny about the homeless,” says Michael Race, a bicycle messenger smoking cigarettes in a park on Broadway. “But I’ll tell you a funny story about a homeless guy.”

“Wednesday there was this homeless guy in bad, bad shape down in one of those allies,” says Race indicating a labyrinth of narrow streets running off Times Square. “There was a guy down there just eating garbage out of a garbage can—he was just pulling filthy stuff out.”

“I could see him from the deli window where I am eating lunch, so I decide to do my good deed and bring the fellow a sandwich,” says Race.

“I get over there and interrupt the guy and he says, ‘well what kind of sandwich is it?’ in a haughty way as if I had interrupted tea with the Queen,” says Race who starts shaking with laughter in his recounting of the story.

“So I just started laughing then too and I said ‘why would it matter?’” says Race. “You are eating banana peels and eggshells right now, I mean, do you only eat certain kinds of sandwiches?”

Race is losing it now. Tears are dripping out of the corners of his eyes.

From that particular deli, the homeless guy, it turned out, only likes only the turkey and Swiss, says Race. He’s says he tried every kind of sandwich the deli makes and turkey and Swiss is just his flavor.

“Turns out he didn’t take it,” says Race. “It was a freshly made bologna and cheese sandwich and he didn’t want it.”

“So he kept eating garbage, “says Race. “ And even though he was right that the bologna in cheese is not the best sandwich the deli makes, I ended up having that sandwich for dinner.”